Loving relationships seem to be both non-existence or over complicated within today’s dating scene from poor communication to uncondensed baggage from past relationships. Healthy love – erotic love seems to be going extinct.

Now when I say erotic love, I don’t just mean passionate sex. I mean the all-encompassing, unconditional understanding of the mental, physical, and emotional capacities that love intertwines with. The formation of the intertwining of souls past physical appearance. A lover’s love that isn’t forgotten, lost or neglected.

Although, I would admit loving erotically requires selfless endurance that a lot of us (not just men) don’t have. Truthfully, what we require from our partners are the things we wouldn’t dare give ourselves. Those being complete understanding and acceptance of self.  When loving someone or even ourselves we pass through phases, usually starting with blinded love. A love that is perceived as accepting, devotion and caring to the person involved. We love it until it’s questioned by lackluster actions, poor communication, or a valued opinion from an external party. In reality that’s all it really takes, because who wants to fight for something that should be as natural and innocent as love? Today, everything is about perceptions, especially when popular perception becomes our personal belief.

A lot of what is glorified today are those Instagram-able relationships. Although beautiful the journey to beauty isn’t showcased. All relationships have highs and lows, but the road to acceptance and affirming love is both personal and coupled work.   An active choice and display of actions that are seeing the best for both oneself and for the relationship. Its a group effort but a choice to choose better. A fight.

A well-deserved fight, that under reasonable and workable conditions is worth it. All the testable alarms that distress any relationship can be worked through. Long as the value of self and the other person is there, there can and will be progress.

“Don’t ever think I fell for you, or fell over you. I didn’t fall in love, I rose in it.”

Toni Morrison